Innocence

Living in a city, one is left to wonder if innocence is an obsolete virtue. What with all the yuppie teenagers with their "I know all there is" swagger, PlayStation (or maybe Wii/xbox) junkies, juggling their time between one class after the other (classical *and* western music classes, karate classes, mind math and other crap). But, ask them to cross a busy road on their own, or deposit a cheque at a neighbourhood bank -- most times, you'll probably get a "Are you crazy" kind of look before walking away.

All is not lost however. Try conversing with some of your younger relatives that live in the rural environs. Their thinking is conventional, affection genuine, and more often than not, their curiosity is refreshing.

One such conversation with a teenage relative of mine who lives in a small nondescript town 90 minutes from Bangalore. This kid was seated in the driver's seat of my car while a group of cousins were conversing above some lilting instrumental fare playing on the stereo...

Kid: How many gears does this car have?
Me: What is the highest number on the gear shift lever?
Kid: Ok, got it... now, what does R stand for?
Me: Reverse
Kid: Which one is the accelerator?
Me: The small pedal to the right
Kid: So, the left is the clutch and the middle is the brake?
Me: Yes
Kid: Front or back?

There you go!

Impressions of Guwahati

This is a draft I'd written over a year ago (16 Dec 2008 to be precise)... posting it now without edits...

Till the last weekend, the farthest east I'd gone in India was Chennai. Personally, the Great Indian Northeast has always been something exotic that one read in books and occasionally saw on TV. Assam in particular just meant a senior of mine at work, Bhupen Hazarika, Parveen Sultana, the ULFA, and more recently the horrific blasts that killed numerous innocent people in the state.

When the opportunity presented itself, I just jumped on the idea of visiting Guwahati, albeit for two days on official duty.

Some observations from the trip:

• Sitting in a two-hop flight is no joke... in other words, Guwahati is really far away from Bangalore ("Wow, that was news to me.. Thanks!")
• The Guwahati airport looks eerily like Bangalore's old HAL airport
• Guwahati proper has the narrowest roads for a state capital. Add to that the median and there is as much space for two cars really close, and nothing else
• I can now say with authority that BMTC buses are possibly the best looking in the country.
  
• Traffic flows ultra 'full duplex' (phrase borrowed from a friend who uses that to describe Pune traffic). Given the narrow roads, it is sometimes scary to sit in the front seat of a car, let alone drive one.
  
• The Brahmaputra is absolutely imposing and awe inspiring.
• The IIT campus is beautiful.
• Food in Assam pretty much means rice and fish, more rice and more fish... ("vegetarian.. what is that?")
• Literally everyone in Assam suggests you visit Shillong and Imphal -- something I plan to do in the future. Not to mention the Tawang Pass, which is also on my list of places to go.
• The most famous landmark in Guwahati is the Kamakhya Debutter (yes, that is the local name of the Kamakhya temple). Sadly, the crowd and devotee management in the temple leaves a lot to be desired.
• It is next to impossible to find parking in the city, roads being as narrow as they are.
• Perhaps the place I've seen the most movement of the military so far in India (no, I haven't been to Jammu or Kashmir). There was even a guy with an automatic guarding a VIP spouse in one of the shops in the market we visited.

Diagnosis...

Events in the past week, tragic to say the least, have given us a chance to discover hidden talents in some cases, and glaring shortcomings in others. A few politicians have already demonstrated symptoms of the dreaded "Foot in the mouth" disease, while some in the media have shown how stupid and insensitive they are.

• Arnab Goswami - needs a dictionary/thesarus. Suffers from "loss of words" syndrome. Mr.Goswami, its OK to be silent, if there is nothing to say.
• Simi Garewal - needs a primary grade history course - not all green clothes are Pakistani flags. Ms.Garewal, do you know the way to the school closest to your abode?
• Sagarika Ghose - can someone please tell her she is close to being the most hated journalist in the country? She tried really hard to make a fool of herself during the conversation with Ravi Shankar Prasad. She succeeded beyond expectations 'cos she was up against someone smarter. Ms.Ghose, please learn when to shut up.
• Jayanti Natarajan - needs to be told there has to be more to an argument than BJP bashing. Madam Natarajan, when will you realize two wrongs don't make a right?
• Barkha Dutt - THE drama queen. Don't you think she is wasting her talents in newsrooms in Delhi? Pity, RGV doesn't make tear jerkers, else he'd have signed her during his infamous Taj survey. Also Ms.Dutt, please do a better job at screening out dumb guests on your already dramatic shows.
  

Finally, its a tragedy in our country that Page 3 celebrities are taken to be a representative sample for public opinion in their respective cities.

Airheads

When will airheads like the Patils, Naqvis and Achutanandans of this country stop their idiocy? Perhaps they revel in politics 'cos of this precise quality of theirs. Its astounding though that they don't know when to shut their trap.

God save my country from such 'leaders'.